My Latest Trick

I'll do anything I can to avoid crowds (and people too). For years I've ridden the elevator in my downtown LA office building in total agony. There are six banks of elevators but at quitting time, only one seems to work. So you find youself stuck in a hot car with dozens of people who are either sweaty, pissed off or total weirdos. Once you get on the car, it inevitably stops on every floor as it makes its way to the lobby. This causes people to sweat more and grow even more irate. (It doesn't seem to affect the weirdos as much, natch.)

I think I've figured out a way to dupe the system and ride solo. Instead of pressing the button to go down, I press the button for up. The car comes roaring up to the 11th floor, so thrilled to meet me! I step on and then wait 30 seconds. This causes the car to realign, so when I push the down button instead of up, it accepts it without missing a beat. I tried this four times last week and the strangest thing, the car didn't stop once at any of the floors below me.

I've probably jinxed myself by writing this post and today my trick won't work. However, I think I have a back-up plan: the freight elevator. It's old and crickety but anything to save me from riding with a group of people is just fine by me.