damn these haters

Is it me or does it seem like we've experienced a three-fold increase in the number of anti-government militias? The latest example comes to us from Michigan, where a band of armed zealots allegedly planned to kill law enforcement officers as part of their battle against Satan (a plot I have trouble following but....)

Last week it was revealed that there were 10+ death threats made against members of Congress because of the health care vote. Some dude was also arrested this week for making death threats against a senator. I'm feeling kind of nostalgic, folks. It's like being in the Clinton era, when we saw armed resistance groups building bombs, moving into tents and decrying the evil forces of the FBI and the federal gov't.

I simply cannot relate to the fear and paranoia that is driving these crazy bandits, especially the inbred-looking Hutaree Christian group. You really think Satan is arriving at terminal one and preparing to do battle with humankind? And it's necessary to slaughter law enforcement officers, to boot? I also wonder how the people who start these groups are able to increase their membership, especially when they state that the government is going to impose martial law, seize their weapons and conduct mass executions. On what do you base that claim? And people actually believe you?

Daaaaamn.

Really?

Reggie Bush and Kim Kardashian breaking up really has to be reported in today's LA Times online??

YES!!!

I am officially back to my pre-pregnancy weight of 124. Yee-haw, ya'll!

escaltor goes up, IQ goes down

It never ceases to amaze me how stupid people are about getting on elevators.

At least once a week, I have the privilege of watching an idiot board our office elevator. I am usually heading towards the lobby when it happens. The doors open to reveal an individual standing with their mouth semi-open. The individual looks at us, looks at the top of the elevator bank and says, "Down?" Yes. Down. You can see we are going down by the downward-facing arrow. If we were going up, Einstein, it would be pointing the other way.

I used to think this was a phenomenon specially reserved for this office building, but today at the doctor's office, some dunder head was struggling to figure out how to get to level one from the basement elevator. I actually slowed my walking so I could hear the whole conversation. "The entrance to the medical plaza is one?" she cried to the person next to her. "So I have to go up?" Where the fuck are you going to go? We're in the basement, you moron. GEEZ!

bombs are falling

I read a newstory today about a suicide bomber in Iraq. It occured to me that before the U.S. invaded Iraq, you never read much about these kind of attacks. I am sure they occured but likely not at the frequency that they do now.

Today, you hear at least one story a month about a suicide bomber taking out large groups of innocent people. I used to be incensed but sadly, over time, my senses became deadened. Random acts of violence are just a reality. There is no emotional room to respond to them anymore. It's like we've come to accept them in the same way we accept reality TV: you don't really like or respect it but it's there and it's not going away.

I can't decide if the bombing or the lack of public outrage is worse.

binge eating at Disneyland

On Sunday, we took advantage of the break in the rain to head south and visit the happiest place on earth. (Again.)

We are fortunate to have annual passes and we probably make 5-6 trips a year to the Magic Kingdom. The baby is now old enough that he recognizes some of the walk-around characters and can go on the smaller rides. Family fun knows no bounds.

Something happened on Sunday's trip. Maybe it was all the walking, or maybe it was all the dieting I've been doing to achieve my pre-pregnancy weight and tone up. Whatever it was, I was suddenly consumed by the insatiable need to eat EVERYTHING in sight.

It started with the pretzel at 10:30. I needed it. No, you don't understand. I needed it, with every fiber of my being. J offered to split it with me and I was supremely annoyed by that.

An hour later I bought some pineapple spears from a corner vendor. J probably would have liked a taste but I had a wild animal look in my eyes. He let me be.

Thirty minutes later I was famished and made poor J stand in a 15 minute line for burgers. I should have had a salad and called it a day but my sanity and willpower had completely left me. I didn't even talk, I just lowered my head and attacked everything on the plate like a lion eating a deer.

At 2 p.m. I had the munchies again. We passed a colorful sign that featured corn dogs. I turned to J with real pleading in my eyes. He sighed, pulled his wallet out of the stroller and headed to the line without a word.

As we exited the park later that afternoon, we passed an ice cream stand. How can you visit D-land and not eat the famed Mickey Mouse ice cream sandwich? You can't.

I really should have been in a food coma by now. But I was energized and bizzarely, still hankering for more. As we drove home, I mentally listed all of the horrible foods I had consumed beginning that morning. I was mortified, but only briefly. Incredibly, my thoughts floated back to the many delectable items I had missed: frozen bananas, slushy lemonade, barbecued meats on a stick. Mmmm.

Unbelievably, I still had room to eat at 7 p.m. We got home, put Mags to bed, and then I popped open a can of my favorite sardines from Spain (marinated in a spicy tomato and olive oil sauce), cut up a cucumber and opened up a pack of salami and mortadella. I looked up and J was staring at me, partially amused and partially horrified.

That is a disturbing look, folks. I decided to skip dessert and just go to bed.

I mean, I have to execute some control.