No matter that I have a loving husband, a beautiful son, a good job and wonderful friends and family. I seem to be thinking about death. A lot.
I don't think about death in the sense of how I am going to die, or when. The thing that causes me the most distress is not being able to see how things turn out. I won't ever know Magnus's grandchildren (probably) and what happens in their own lives. I won't be around to see people take annual vacations to the Moon or drive around in space cars, like the Jetsons. That burns me to no end. I hate being left behind!! It feels like I'm watching a movie and I have to leave before the ending and the credits.
I did some research to try and account for this fear of death. There are actually four types. One of them, the fear of non-existence, seems to sum up the anxiety I feel over dying. Why can't it just be like before I was conceived; I had no issue with not existing THEN! It also makes me think that death is just like the space before we were born. No air, no noise, no memories. It's as if you come full circle.
...Screw that. I still want to live forever!
I don't think about death in the sense of how I am going to die, or when. The thing that causes me the most distress is not being able to see how things turn out. I won't ever know Magnus's grandchildren (probably) and what happens in their own lives. I won't be around to see people take annual vacations to the Moon or drive around in space cars, like the Jetsons. That burns me to no end. I hate being left behind!! It feels like I'm watching a movie and I have to leave before the ending and the credits.
I did some research to try and account for this fear of death. There are actually four types. One of them, the fear of non-existence, seems to sum up the anxiety I feel over dying. Why can't it just be like before I was conceived; I had no issue with not existing THEN! It also makes me think that death is just like the space before we were born. No air, no noise, no memories. It's as if you come full circle.
...Screw that. I still want to live forever!
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