sometimes I want to be heidi montag

I have never seen an episode of the "Hills" but I am aware of one of its stars, Heidi Montag, via the incessant news coverage that she generates. She seems to like plastic surgery, shopping and living by the beach.

I want to be Heidi Montag.

I want to be blonde, willowy, and vapid. I want to shop and not think heavy thoughts. I want to get caught up in stupid drama and sip cocktails with people who also like stupid drama. I want the problems of world to wash over me and not cause distress. I want to be fixated on a single, attainable goal, like lip gloss.

Okay, okay, maybe being Heidi forever is too much to ask. How about just for a weekend? Just long enough to not care about what it's like to be homeless, why dolphins are killed, why Sarah Palin still gets quoted. What does being in that Hollywood bubble feel like, so removed from real life and real problems?

Just a day, that's all I ask.