This week's obsession: serial killers

I can feel you stomping your foot in protest, faithful readers. Roya get a clue and lighten up, you shout. Stop obsessing about your existence and serial killers. Why are you such a downer?

I live in the sticks, do you not REMEMBER? I can't just dust and fold shirts ALL DAY! I am stomping my foot now, right back at you. Like these shoes? They hurt.

A loooong time ago I wrote a piece about motherhood equaling irrational fears. I was proud Magnus had the courage to go down a big slide at age two but silently held my breath each time, convinced he would hurtle his tiny body into a lump on the ground and never stand again.

So it should not surprise anyone that I have been wondering about serial killers and if bad parenting trumped the genetics card for some of the people sitting on death row. Not that I would be as bad as Charles Manson's mother, who gave birth to him and then did everything she could to never see him again. I saw an interview with Charles M and he said he attempted to return times to his mother numerous times after living with various relatives or staying in juvenile centers. She thwarted every attempt. Your own mother saying I am good on my own, thanks. That has got to fuck with you.

Okay, so I am not that bad. But do I leave Magnus on his own too much while I perform important tasks like write copy for clients? Or like right now, when I am blogging about how not being with him might increase his risk for anti-social behavior and perhaps homicide? And he's in his room quietly building a dull sword out of Lego?

A fellow mom friend shares my concern. Her two boys are older and lock themselves in their rooms for hours on end. She can only get them to come out if she yells "IN N' OUT!!" They are also surly at
dinner and want to be left alone right after. She says they have not harmed the family cat but she checks on it every night before she goes to bed.

Because I am cerebral and drawn to research and bad TV, I have been watching documentaries on You Tube about serial killers, paying close attention to their formative years. So far I have covered Richard Ramirez, Charles M, the Green River killer, Ed Gein and John Wayne Gacy. And there are some messed up childhoods there, friends. In most cases, there was probably also something awry with the individual's hard-wiring...Ramirez said from a young age he felt different, and after seeing terrible violence in his family, he became drawn to it. Did his mom maybe leave him alone too much while going to church or the grocery store? It's a toss up.

I see this post is running long so I will sign off and go see where that strange chainsaw sound is coming from. Hopefully the gardener.