Facebook is dead

I don't know about you, faithful readers, but it seems to me Facebook is as interesting these days as a nail clipper convention. (Odd analogy, I know. Do they even have nail clipper conventions? I only have 15 minutes to type something before the bubbas wake up and start their James Brown-style shrieking, and the Creativity/Witty Muse is often elusive at these hours. That bitch).

Facebook sucked pre-November election. It was predictable. I was predictable. I am liberal, I voted for Obama twice, so my politically-oriented posts were unimaginative and obvious. What the hell was I trying to accomplish anyway? Sway my friends who might be swing voters? Anyway, the election didn't save us from additional, more subversive FB shit.  Log on now, right now, and chances are you will see a slew of Commercialism 101 posts: guess what?? Your friend claimed an offer from X brand or retailer! They are now the proud and very public owner of a toaster, or some product to get rid of unwanted hair. Do I congratulate them? No, tell me, what do I do? Am a bit lost about the decorum.

I would love this rant to end here, but, like a bad case of stomach flu, there is more crap. Have you seen those sappy, SNL/ Deep Thoughts with Jack Handy-style posts that everyone seems to be posting, sharing, commenting on? "Be the person you want to be, not the person people want you to be."  "Sometimes you have to get lost to find yourself." OMG. Who are you? You probably have a row of overly-sentimental motivational prints in your office, right?

I like efficiency and concise-writing, so it might be a better approach if they start combining all of this content so you see a post that reads "The unimagined life is not worth living," complete with an image of one of your friends who just claimed an offer from Outback Steakhouse. At least the artwork would be better.

One of the bubbas is squawking, so let me leave you with this deep thought: wherever you are, you are there.

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