keep it simple, people

I've just returned from a business lunch on the Westside. I love me some business lunches because I can test out a new place and order the French-influenced entree that's at least $40, both on someone else's dime.

This place was nice and airy and the service was excellent. Halfway through our appetizers, nature called. I stood up and was soon overcome by the crushing anxiety of finding the bathroom.

Some Tinseltown eateries like to hide the bathroom and make you meander up and down the aisles until the water boy, who speaks no English, takes pity on you and points to some closet near the back parking lot. I lucked out this time and was able to find the loo but was met with another challenge. Two large, floor to ceiling doors, both cobalt blue. I stood staring at one, then the other, desperately trying to make out which was the girlie door. Finally, I was able to see a tiny circle in the center of each door: one had a "W," the second had a "M." Who was the fancy pants who approved this design and concept?

I hate Applebees and other chain restaurants but they win big points by having easy-to-find and clearly marked restrooms. As I exited the loo, an older man was standing in front of the doors looking desperately sad. I nodded to the "M" door and he remarked, "What bullshit!"

At least dessert was good.