Duh

Reading Push (the book that the film "Precious" was based on) days before I am due to get my period = Dumbest Idea Ever.

Downton Altey

Like millions of Americans, I am besotted by the English period drama that is Downton Abbey. I came into it a bit late but technology, bless you!, enabled me to catch up on the life on the landed gentry in the early 20th Century. And I stand corrected on one thing.

I am an unabashed liberal with a soft spot for the working class. However, I realize I would be an unbelievably awesome Countess Crawley. I would excel at having servants bring me breakfast in bed, attend to my hair and make-up, hand deliver my correspondence and set out my wardrobe for weekly social engagements. I would lay my head on an 800-thread count pillow and sleep with an obnoxious smile on my mug every night. I would vacation in Scotland, Paris, America, throw fabulous dinner parties with other well-coiffed snobs, judge the annual spring floral show and during the holidays, ask my maid to coordinate a delivery of goods to the poor. Of course, time allowing, I would set up a foundation to assist those less fortunate, perhaps young women who desired training to land non-domestic jobs or get an occasional manicure. But mostly I would sip champagne, eat low-carb delicacies and be so fucking happy about being a well-heeled aristocrat.

And don't act like you wouldn't do the same, faithful readers. Have you seen the amount of laundry the maids had to do, BY HAND? And they never seemed to take vacations, have sex or read a good book. Forget it, dahlings. Being overly pampered and utterly useless is my new calling in life.

Not another Holocaust movie??

The mister and I were settling in, after a long day of caring for the kiddos, when the mood suddenly hit.

Netflix!

We dusted off the DVD that had been sitting on the dining room table for almost two weeks. While wading through the previews, which we view because we are pathetic individuals who never know what films are coming out anymore, we sat through a trailer for a foreign film about the Holocaust.

I like Holocaust movies. I am fairly certain I have seen just about every Holocaust film ever made, even old ones like The Sorrow and the Pity. I have also watched an array of documentaries and sought out films that chronicle the stories of lesser-known victims, like gay men and people who were deemed mentally or physically unfit.

However, while watching the preview for this latest Holocaust film, all I could think was....really? Another Holocaust movie?

Don't start preaching. I am not saying we should abandon all memory of the Holocaust and never address what happened again in film or art. I simply think it is time there are other stories about genocide that should be told.

For example, the extermination of Native Americans or the Armenian genocide. There have got to be SOME story lines there that people would be riveted by. There is a mass assault taking place right now against Syrian citizens and untold numbers of people have died. Human beings outside Europe
have been put through the worst of human misery but we don't get the opportunity to hear their 
voices.

I am sure there are reasons why other atrocities are not featured as prominently in film or are 
otherwise not made, so I won't drag this out any longer than is necessary. The end result is that I will 
probably bypass this latest Holocaust movie and hope I come across a film with a new story to be experienced.

But not a genocide musical, please please no.

Loving our local crime scene

I happened to pick up a copy of the local newspaper while waiting for Magnus during his weekly art class. I am not someone who relishes checking out the weekly crime blotter nor do I bother to open the community paper that is left each week on our driveway. But this week, with time on my hands and the smell of crazy glue in the air, I found myself sifting through the pages of the Camarillo Acorn, ultimately ending up on the crime page.

And the criminals, they did not disappoint. These menaces to society were up to no damn good. For example: on March 1, a 33-year-old man was arrested for public intoxication outside the local CVS.

Wait. It gets worse.

An underage lout was cited FOUR blocks from where we live for driving a car in a cul-de-sac without a permit.

Hang on, I need to make sure I locked the front door.

I am back. An unidentified, godless woman was arrested near the outlet mall for carrying a controlled substance on March 3.

And a homeowner was cited for violating local ordinances by throwing a loud party on March 4. I know! It wasn't even a holiday.

I am as shocked and disgusted as you, faithful readers. How could the mister move his family from Los Angeles, home of televised car chases and home invasion robberies, to a crime-laden community like this one? Partiers and unlicensed drivers lurk among us, trying to blend in, catch us with our guard down. What is next? Pulling the lids off our recycling bins? Riding motorcycles without helmets?

Shudder to think.

Magnusism #5

Magnus: "Mommy, gold teeth are COOL."

No, thank you

I am not interested in watching a C-section via Twitter. I can barely look at pictures of my own operations. Seeing a stranger's blood and pelvic floor is not anywhere on my priority list.

If someone decides to Tweet photos of their hemorrhoid surgery, that may be the end of my forays into social media. And I will move to France.

Okay, so

I am lonely! I see you shaking your head. How is that possible, you ask, with three kiddos in the house? I find myself asking the same question. Also, we have play dates almost every week, at least Magnus does. So I do see other people. And I email friends when I can, and sometimes I actually get to see them in the flesh. But day in and day out, I am beholden to the needs of three human beings who are cute, but don't give a crap about the fact that I am on my own, isolated, and feeling a bit blue about that.

I actually Googled stay-at-home mom and loneliness to see if other moms felt the same or if I had some strange malady not yet discovered by science. A lot of them do feel lonely, even depressed. Yes! Victory! Shouldn't I feel better now that I know there are approximately five million at-home moms and a good chunk of them feel lonesome?

Misery doesn't love company in my case. Maybe if we still lived in LA I wouldn't feel so forlorn, or maybe I would cherish the loneliness as some weird badge of motherhood honor. But, as you know, because you LOVE this blog, we are living in more rural parts now and the quietness of suburbia only reinforces feeling alone.

How did the pioneer women handle motherhood without yoga, blogging or Xanax? They had to raise their broods AND wash clothes by hand, chop wood and even reach for a gun if the homestead was threatened. So much heavy lifting but I am sure the solitary aspect of their work made many of them feel isolated and depressed.

Well, I must end this to help Mags get into the tub. I miss you already. Give me a hug. Harder.