Hear ye, hear ye

Faithful readers, the most egregious disorder has befallen yours truly.

It appears that within the last month I have become mute. I engage in conversation, I ask questions, I even shout down the hallway, and somehow, incredibly, nobody can hear anything I say.

For example, this morning, I asked the eldest bubba what he would like to eat for breakfast. He did not look up or respond. I repeated the question. Then again. Louder. I looked at J, concerned and helpless. Finally the lad turned to his father and declared he would consume yogurt and fruit, thank you. I was baffled. Was the child deaf? Did I die recently and was just a ghostly apparition, yet because of the extraordinary amount of laundry I have to do, I didn't realize I had crossed over?

Later in the day, I asked J about purchasing extra chairs for the patio table. We have some entertaining planned and I can't ask people to stand on the grass for an entire meal. He did not respond. He was looking at his iPad. I cleared my throat and posed the question again. I think he may have heard some inkling of vocabulary because he did look up and make eye contact. I yelled my question and he nodded. Why couldn't he hear me? Was he reading my lips? When did he start reading lips? Really? Huh.

I don't fault the babies too much. They are not quite 18 months old so any instruction I give them is going to be met with indifference. It is weird that when I say no they don't appear to hear me, though.

Anyway, I probably need to see a doctor. This is a serious disorder - my husband and kids' inability to listen to me - that could accelerate into adolescence and even young adulthood. It is disturbing and highly inconvenient, having to holler to get someone to look my way and acknowledge me. But medicine is moving at an incredible rate, I have no doubt that sooner or later, a cure will be found for this horrible mother's predicament.