The Elusive Pharmacist

Scientists are working hard to unlock the great mysteries of our universe: the origins of life, dark matter, LA traffic. I am hopeful that one day they can address another befuddling phenomenon: the turnaround times at the pharmacy.

One thing I have never understood is why you are given a 30-45 minute window to fill a prescription when all the pharmacist has to do is retrieve your medicine from a cabinet in the back of the room. Seriously. In most cases, the pharmacist isn't mixing the drug. He or she simply confirms the dosage and instructions and then picks up a box of pills to hand to you.

Yesterday I was reminded how insipid this whole process can be. I went to the local Walgreens at 11:45 to drop off a prescription. There was only one other person in line. Two of the staff were just standing around. The pharmacist reviewed my info, confirmed my address and then said, "We are running really behind. Can you wait 30 minutes?"

I decided to stay put and wait it out. I walked up the dish detergent aisle, perused some magazines, compared mascara brands and prices. When my thirty minutes were up, I went back to the pharmacy aisle. There weren't any customers waiting. No one was talking on the phone, fielding orders. I stood on my toes to peer over the counter into the back, and whaddya know? The entire staff were gathered together yukking it up at some picture in People Magazine.

I must have made a lip smacking noise accidentally because the man who took my order smiled and said, "Hi, I'm just getting your stuff now!" Are you kidding me? You deal with sick people who require medication. You aren't the freaking DMV; people don't feel sicker because you are slow to take their driver's license photo.

Clearly this is a mystery that requires thorough investigation. We need our top scientists on this immediately. Who's in??